Famous Last Words

I'll get a world record for this.

Let me reach in and get your watch out of the printing press.

Hey there's no handles inside these car doors!

Gee, that's a cute tattoo.

It's fireproof.

He's probably just hibernating.

What does this button do?

I'm making a citizen's arrest.

Can we get a vision plan?

So, you're a cannibal.

It's probably just a rash.

Why am I standing on a plastic sheet?

Are you sure the power is off?

Yeah, I made the deciding vote on the jury, so what of it?

No, my shoes aren't untied.

The odds of that happening have to be a million to one!

What do you mean, "I'll be back"?

Pull the pin and count to what?

Which wire was I supposed to cut?

I wonder where the mother bear is.

I've seen this done on TV.

These are the good kind of mushrooms.

I'll hold it and you light the fuse.

What's that priest doing here?

You look just like Charles Manson.

Let it down slowly.

Rat poison only kills rats.

OK, I'll go ahead and make your day.

It can't possibly rain for forty days and nights.

I'll get your toast out.

It's strong enough for both of us.

This doesn't taste right.

I can make this light before it changes.

Nice doggie.

I can do that with my eyes closed.

I've done this before.

Well we've made it this far.

That's odd.

Hey that's not a violin.

I'll just slip into the commuter lane for a second.

I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.

Don't be so superstitious.

Now watch this.

This planet has an atmosphere just like on earth.

What duck?

Creative Ways to Call Someone Stupid

About as sharp as a marble. 

A few fries short of a Happy Meal.

I wish I had a blueprint for his brain; I'm trying to build an idiot.

An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.

He only has one oar in the water.

Dumber than a box of hair.

One Froot Loop shy of a full bowl.

A few feathers short of a whole duck.

An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.

As smart as bait.

Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.

His belt doesn't go through all the loops.

If she had another brain, it would be lonely.

Missing a few buttons on his remote control.

Skylight leaks a little.

The lights are on, but nobody's home.

24 cents short of a quarter.

The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.

She's not the brightest Crayola in the box!

Stupidity from Some Random Guy About Froot Loops

Froot Loops come in three different colors: Red, yellow, and orange, I think. Trix used to come in the same colors but now they have purple or blue or something, I'm not sure. I'm also not sure how many colors are in Fruity Pebbles but its probably the same. I do know that every so often they'll add a new color or "Berry-Blasted Swirls" or whatever. It doesn't matter because its all a rip-off. They might add colors or swirls or whatever, but they always taste the same. In fact, the individual colors don't even taste different from each other. They're not "cherry" or "lemon", they're red and yellow. They are vaguely "fruit-flavored" which in cereal language seems to translate as "anything sweet that's not chocolate".